Men who explain things
I learn a lot about men from women. Most of my talk time is with the softer sex – wife, daughter, sister, in-laws, friends all share openly. Additionally, my coaching practice has a majority of female clients. They do likewise.
One of the constant things I hear about guys is that we are prone to “explain things” that really don’t require such explanations. I’ve seen this firsthand and you probably have as well: at a party for instance, we’ll often see or hear a guy going into a great deal more detail in his story when there are gals listening. That detail is often by way of explanations about how something works or what a given product does. The male talker just seems to take it for granted that the gals need a little help to keep up with his story.
Most guys rarely do this when it’s only other guys. If they do, they get busted pretty fast with a comment like, “OK OK we don’t have all day Harry.” We learn quickly that talk time is a competitive sport with the other males each wanting to show that they know the most about whatever the given subject is at the time.
But with females, we take our time. Doling out the details like chocolates to starving castaways recently rescued.
I’ve joked about this with my wife Susan over the years because we once watched a male pal actually explain how a light switch works to a woman friend. She was only a lawyer poor thing so how could she understand what he was saying. He after all was pretty handy with the tools (even though he was a retailer). It was comical at the time and I still recognize how frustrating it must be for the ladies to have to be polite and put up with these “men who explain things”.
If you’re a woman reading this – I know you know what I mean. You’ve seen your sisters put up with the nonsense and perhaps have done it yourself while some full-of-himself guy went on and on about something you actually knew more about. Afterward you may have gone off and laughed about the jerk.
So I’m writing this blog for the men of the world.
Guys! Women are graduating from college at a much higher rate than we are. While in school they get better grades that we do. They start more new businesses than men. They are 52% of the population. Plus they know how to have babies, make us look good when we’re so lost between whether to tuck our shirts in or leave them out, they can make really good food most of the time, and they smell better.
So, next time you find yourself acting like one of those “men who explain things”, give yourself a wake up call. Then shut up. And ask a few questions. You may end up learning something, and it will be less likely that any of the women there are going to pop around the corner to laugh about you afterward.
john
Tags: career advancement, coach, Listening, opportunity, personal style, skills, success
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